Thursday, March 11, 2010

Limbo

I am not obese.
Nor am I anywhere close to skinny.
I am in the forgettable, hateful middle stage. The stage where people comment on how 'nice' you are. They say things about how 'cute' you are. You are never beautiful or fashionable. You are simply there.
I've been in the middle my entire life. Never pretty enough and never ugly. Always falling short of being good or special in any way. Forgettable. Plain. Boring.

19 years of it is too long.

How can I change 19 years worth of self?
I am not a word document where edit is just a backspace button.
I can't delete my fat with a click.
I can't grow taller with the addition of a few words.

I am stuck.

Who can I pretend to be when I hate the body I am in?

Thursday, March 4, 2010

No Title

I am a bipolar, anxiety ridden, pathetic wreck.
I hate this.
I hate myself.

I'm trying to change...

Can I?