New Routine

Breakfast: 2 diet pills and 40 oz of water

Lunch: 2 pills, 40 oz of water and an apple (80) or instant meal (~250)

Exercise: Burn at least 350 calories

Dinner: 2 pills, 80 oz of water and a sandwich (~700)

This is my new routine.
I am not skinny yet, but I am getting there.

127.4, bitches.

Hello Fatty

Hi there.

Over 130 lbs? Really? REALLY?

It's a good thing that you haven't eaten anything today because you honestly don't deserve to eat for the next five days. Oh, that was part of your plan? How cute. Let's see how that goes, you fat cow.

God, even your essence reeks of disgusting failure.

<3
Ana

Back With A Vengence

Yup. I'm back.

The test results: 129.6 lbs of fat ass.

The goal: 110 by Christmas

Is it possible? Will it be accomplished?

Absolutely.

I'm back in college dorms and way to busy to do something like 'eat'. Pfft. I will survive on tea, salad, and the occasional (OCCASIONAL....as in once a week) actual meal.
Fat ass be gone.
I vow to post here daily to keep up motivation.

Who wants to lose weight with me? :D

Limbo

I am not obese.
Nor am I anywhere close to skinny.
I am in the forgettable, hateful middle stage. The stage where people comment on how 'nice' you are. They say things about how 'cute' you are. You are never beautiful or fashionable. You are simply there.
I've been in the middle my entire life. Never pretty enough and never ugly. Always falling short of being good or special in any way. Forgettable. Plain. Boring.

19 years of it is too long.

How can I change 19 years worth of self?
I am not a word document where edit is just a backspace button.
I can't delete my fat with a click.
I can't grow taller with the addition of a few words.

I am stuck.

Who can I pretend to be when I hate the body I am in?

No Title

I am a bipolar, anxiety ridden, pathetic wreck.
I hate this.
I hate myself.

I'm trying to change...

Can I?

Idea! :D

If I can manage to eat under 800 every day until He goes without him noticing, I'll be in much better shape when it comes time to water fast. I won't have to tear myself up every day and cry when I see the numbers on the scale. Much better... :]

124 this morning.
Disgusting.

So I am joining the air force and the lowest weight you can be is 104 lbs. Twenty pounds. That's not so bad of a goal. :]
I CAN DO IT!

And so can you!



VERSUS:

Excuses, excuses

I'm sorry I haven't really been around. It is just that He is leaving in February for the air force and I won't get a chance to see him for probably a couple months and I am just trying to spend as much time possible AND do school AND find a job. I am so stressed out and I can't even manage to eat well. I hate this. I know, I know... excuses are pathetic. There are thousands who are successful at this. I just can't seem to get my shit together. I don't know why.
I have 8 1/2 weeks of just myself coming up. No one to tell me 'EAT'.
Water fast for at least four weeks.
I need it.
Oh God, do I need it...

It is raining for the second day in a row.